Archive for ‘Satire/Humor/Fun’

January 31st, 2009

Are we loathsome?

The Beast has published their annual list of the 50 most loathsome people in America. As always it’s extremely funny but thought-provoking as well. I doubt you’ll agree with every entry, I didn’t. But it’s hard to deny their substantiation has merit. Perhaps the most compelling entry is this:

43. You

Charges:You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

It may have been intended as humor, but I’d say it gives all Americans something to consider and not just reject out-of-hand.

October 9th, 2008

63 trillion votes so far from Florida alone

Florida voters are overwhelmingly supporting Palin for president. Even dead Floridians are voting for Palin. Vote silly in ‘08!

October 8th, 2008

The Liberal Insult Generator

For all those who proudly call themselves Conservative, who subscribe to any far right position without reason or consideration and who cannot manage on their own to compose a killer comeback to those pesky, commie-loving, homo-supporting, anti-god, anti-troops, anti-American, spineless, sushi-eating, terrorist-coddling, Hollywood-humping, liberal defeatocrats: the internet brings you the The Liberal Insult Generator.

Now your mindless taunts can sound faintly erudite. “Hey, you militant victim-playing defeatocrats, you’re all loony criminal-pampering elitists. You weak, morality-destroying girlie men, you’re nothing but neorotic troop-slandering sodomites! (Feel free to take a moment to Google those words, you’ll find they’re wonderfully nasty)

Isn’t that fun? No more having to actually think up an ass-kicking insult. No need to do any thinking at all. And isn’t that the best part of being a knee-jerk Conservative anyway?

And for all you equally knee-jerk Liberals who mindlessly follow the left-wing agenda without any more thought than your counterparts on the right, I’m sure there’s an equally spiffy insult generator on some website for your mindless enjoyment. If someone knows where, leave the URL in the comments.

After all, everyone knows politics isn’t really about who can do the most good for our country or what policies will produce the most good for the greatest number of our citizens; politics is really about who can sling the most fragrant offal at the opposition.

September 17th, 2008

Caption Contest

Winner selected by the commenters. Judgement by peer.

 

 (Hat tip to BeeLing on Friendfeed)